And You'll Be Walking On Air

I found another concept which is closely related to my last post about Agape, Storge, Philia and Eros. Love styles are models of how people love (romantic, partnered love) which was originally developed by Jon Lee. There are:

Eros:

• Is passionate, physical and emotional love; stereotype of romantic love
• Love based on Eros has a strong sexual component and an intense focus on the emotional aspects of love, including finding different ways to express love
• Eros lovers tend to emphasize romantic relationships, physical beauty, desire and physical attraction
• Relationships based on Eros tend to fizzle quickly, because they can’t maintain this high level of passion
• Eros is literally the love of Beauty. It is a highly sensual style of love. They are more likely to say they fell in love at first sight than those of other love styles.
• “The advantage of Eros love is the sentimentality of it. The disadvantage is the inevitableness of the decay in attraction, and the danger of living in a fantasy world.”

Ludus:

• Game-playing love; a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; challenge
• More interested in quantity than quality of relationships
• Quickly recover from break-ups
• “Ludus lovers tend to be game players in romance. Ludus lovers are addicted to the excitement of forming a romantic relationship, and aren’t as enthralled by building a healthy long-term marriage. A Ludus lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship involves the thrill of the chase and the thrill of new romance, not the work of building a long-term commitment.”
• “Some people experience love as a game to be played with other people’s emotions. The goal or desire is to gain control over a partner through manipulation. People who experience love as Ludus like to have multiple love interests where they are in complete control. Lying, cheating and deception are common for people who experience love as Ludus – it’s all part of the game. For people who experience love as Ludus, it is satisfying to outwit a partner and exploit his or her weak spots.”

Storge:

• An affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity
• Friendship-based love, involving respect and concern for another person’s interest
• There is strong companionship and shared values here
• Storge Lovers want their significant others to also be their best friends
• “Some people experience love as a gradual and slow process. When love is based on Storge, getting to know someone comes before having intense feelings for that person. Love based on Storge takes time, it requires genuine liking and understanding of a partner, and it develops slowly over time. Love based on Storge is often compared to the love that one has for a friend. In fact, people who experience love as Storge often fall in love with their friends.”
• “Storge lovers focus on friendship to build a healthy relationship. This style of love usually begins with a strong friendship, which eventually develops into feelings of romantic love and intimacy. The sexual aspect of storge love tends to be less important than the friendship aspect (making the approach to romance a lower priority). A storge lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship focuses on caring, compassion, and heart-to-heart discussions.”

Pragma:

• Practical or logical love; love that is driven by the head, not the heart; undemonstrative; lack of emotion
• Pragma Lovers carefully weigh the costs and rewards of a relationship and actively search for a partner with certain characteristics
• They want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal
• “Pragma lovers are rational and practical – and so is their approach to romance and healthy relationships. This type of lover decides to love someone who best fits their requirements and meets their needs. Pragma lovers assess potential partners for appropriate education levels, professions, income, social status, common interests, parent potential, and material possessions. A pragma lover’s approach to a healthy romantic relationship doesn’t focus on the emotional aspects of love.”
• “Some people take a practical approach to love. Love is not crazy, intense, or out of control. Love is based on common sense and reason. People who experience love as Pragma tend to pick a suitable mate the way most other people make serious life decisions: picking a partner is based on careful consideration and reason. Practical concerns underlie this type of love.”

Mania:

• Dependent, possessive love
• Mania Lovers are often anxious, insecure and have low self-esteem
• People close to them often become co-dependent; highly self-centered; and can be extremely jealous and controlling
• Are addictive relationships, a obsession or craving – not a healthy romantic love
• Highly volatile and obsessive
• They believe that their one person alone can make them feel happy and fulfilled
• “Some people experience love as being out of control. Love is an overwhelming experience; it turns one’s life upside down and it results in a complete loss of one’s identity. Love based on Mania is crazy, impulsive and needy. People who experience love as Mania fall in love quickly, but their love tends to consume them. Love experienced as Mania also tends to burnout before it gets the chance to mature. Such love is often marked by extreme delusions, feelings of being out of control, rash decisions, and vulnerability. People who experience love as Mania are easily taken advantage of by people who experience love as Ludus.“
• “There are a substantial number of romantic relationships in which an individual is either desperately trying to get someone to love them or they are desperately trying to keep the love of a partner by focusing an inordinate amount of their attention on them.”
• “They are always afraid of losing the object of that obsession, and so they tend to try and hold on to that one person by whatever means it may take.”

Agape:

• Selfless, altruistic love; spiritual, divine, motherly love
• Love of altruism, of giving without asking anything in return and of sacrificing oneself for one's partner
• Many would consider it to be the purest and sincerest form of love
• Is genuine and unconditional love, it means, "I see a need in you. Let me have the privilege of meeting it."
• “Some people experience love as care giving. Love is the overwhelming desire to want to take care of a partner - a parental or nurturing type of love. Love based on Agape is attentive, generous, caring, compassionate and kind - a more altruistic or selfless type of love. “
• “Agapic love is self-sacrificing, all-encompassing love. Agapic lovers are often spiritual or religious people. Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings, and wish to take care of them. Agapic lovers will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain, and will often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. “